A Rant

I don't sleep very well. For years, while I generally fall asleep quickly, I am awake by 3:30. I then spend the next two-three hours tossing and turning. Too tired to get up; too awake to fall back asleep.  I have never known why. But I think I have discovered a possible reason. It seems as if when I don't watch the CBC News at 10:00, it is more likely that I will get a better night’s sleep.

What keeps me up? I am so damn irritated at our government that I think I am going to bed in a rage three nights out of five. I suppose the answer is to stop watching the news. A better answer would be for the government to stop being such idiots. This week’s irritations…………..

The government’s shill on the pipe line being planned to ship oil from Fort McMurray to the West Coast announced this week that “foreign radicals” were the ones who were protesting against the building of the pipeline. He was clearly stated that these radicals were trying to disrupt the Canadian economy.

1)      when did we decided that the First Nations of the BC mainland were foreigners and

2)      radical is not a dirty word. How dare my government imply that people who disagree with them are radicals and therefore somehow dangerous.

 I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that in the government’s mind the possible risk to a couple of thousand First Nations individuals and their lifestyle is less important than benefits that will fall to foreign owned oil companies. I am however, always surprised that they are so arrogant,  supremely confident about their opinions and that they have no shame.

Then last night it is announced that they (the federal government) are planning to reduce the number of Employment Insurance (now that is a silly name!) offices from 122 to 20 over the next three years. Which I suppose makes some kind of sense. If you don’t want to help or even be aware of unemployed people, make it harder for them to get help. A side benefit of this is that it will be harder for unemployed workers to communicate with each other and perhaps much more difficult to share stories or to organize. But what is beyond a shocking display of arrogance is that according to the CBC “of the 20 processing centres left, more than half will be in Conservative ridings and only one will be in a Liberal riding.” (http://www.cbc.ca/m/ touch/news/ story /2012/01/13/pol-service-canada-closures.html). 

CBC goes further and states “In Nova Scotia, several processing centres including Sydney and Glace Bay in Cape Breton — both in a Liberal riding where unemployment is high — are closing.
But two sub-processing centres are being kept open — one in Defence Minister Peter MacKay's riding of Central Nova, the other in Conservative Gerald Keddy's riding of South Shore-St. Margaret's.

 In Newfoundland, seven Service Canada offices, including Gander and Corner Brook, will stop processing EI claims despite high unemployment rates in those communities.
Most of the work will be relocated to St. John's, where the economy is booming. But the one riding with a Conservative MP —Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs Peter Penashue — will continue to have a processing centre.” (http://www.cbc.ca/m/touch/news/story/2012/01/13/pol-service-canada-closures.html).

All Canadians should be alarmed. John Ralston Saul in his 1999 book Reflections of a Siamese Twin argued that if Canada did not stop its trend of having right of centre governments that we would be at risk of going back to the style of government that existed before confederation. That is government of a few, for a few. (and the hell with the rest)

Sorry John – not enough people read your book. We are already there.

Simple Ramblings.....................

Laying in bed this morning wondering if I needed to get up at 6:00 AM ( I decided not), for some reason beyond my conscious understanding,  I remembered two sayings that I had posted on my bulletin board all those years ago at UNB. 

 “I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.”

And

“I shall tell the world that I am here and then I shall live in a house without doors”

 The first one is of course from Walt Whitman. I read it in high school when I was 17 and I don’t think I have ever forgotten it. It may be in fact the only line of poetry that I have ever memorized. It is such a powerful statement, an almost overwhelming declaration of  being comfortable with who and what one is regardless of the rough edges, the paradoxes and the fact that it may, on occasion, bother other people.

The second one I wrote at some point during my adolescent poetry writing phase. Actually the second half was in French but I am no longer able to translate it to that other language. I don’t think I have thought about the line for at least 40 years. Although I don’t think I understood the quote that I wrote when I created it, it strikes me how accurate a prediction of my life the two quotes are.

I have never seen the need to brag about what I do, nor to be completive about almost anything. A body should do what they need to do, what they can do and then let their actions speak for themselves. You do the best you can and then walk away. It is not for us to judge our work, or our contributions (or the lack thereof). If they need to be judged someone else will do it. One should not take credit for doing what feels right. It is what we should do. This philosophy also means that one must be comfortable about being out there, of sharing values and beliefs, of living them and of accepting the consequences.

I find it somewhat comforting as I go through this reflective phase that at least a little bit of what made sense to me 50 or so years ago, still makes sense to me today. But I have  to wonder if that younger me living all those years ago who felt so alone and afraid and completely lost in the world of university would recognize the me of today. I wonder if he would like me. 

I hope so.

Simple ramblings on my weekend

I just spent the weekend alone. Not that that is that unusual but at some point this morning I realized that with the exception of talking to my mother briefly a couple of times during the weekend, I had not talked to anyone from Thursday afternoon until this morning when I went to work. What I think is remarkable about that fact is that I wasn’t really aware of being alone.

So either I am crazy (always a possibility) or I am more comfortable than I thought at only having me for company. I think I feel good about the latter possibility. Not that I would have ever consciously chosen to spend three and half days without talking to a soul, but it is good know (given my lifestyle and personality) that it is fairly easy to be engaged in my life of singleness.

I didn’t spend the time in bed sleeping or moping. In fact I had a very productive time of washing wool, dyeing some cotton warp for my next project and finishing off a shawl that was on the loom left over from before my holiday travels. I suppose one could argue that it was easy to be alone when I was consumed by working with wool. One could be right.

However perhaps the better question is- should I do anything about it?