Being Intellectual Absent

I am feeling somewhat guilty (although to whom and why I am not clear) as I realize that I have not posted anything for a few weeks. It is not as if there is nothing to write about.....

I suppose this latest attack of the "guilts" derives from my unwillingness to engage in the debate about the American presidency. This feeling was further exacerbated by me consciously deciding to not watch  the American presidential debate last night. My convenient excuse was that I have neither cable nor a satellite dish. I was conveniently ignoring the fact that I do have a computer and access to the internet. I am sure that there were all kinds of ways to watch the debate if I had wanted to. The fact is that I don't care.

In fact, I am slowly coming to the realization that I don't care about a lot of things. When I was actively engaged in the community either as someone who worked in social services or taught at a community college - there was a reason to stay informed/aware and involved. I needed to spend time thinking about the state of my world and the infinite complexities and therefore opinions within that world. Certainly in the last six or seven years of my "professional" life, I think, or at least I choose to believe that I was expected to demonstrate some capacity for critical thinking. Now... not so much.

In terms of social connections, I now spend more time with other people than I have in the past few years. Throughout the summer I have attended a number of farmers' markets, sometimes on both Saturday and Sunday. I have talked to hundreds of people, sometimes for 10-15 minutes at a time. I have spent even longer talking to the vendors on either side of me. I have met some really nice people. Being at the various markets has been fun and I have learned a fair amount about selling etc.

I also have neighbours. For the first time in probably 30 years I actually have people on either side of me and across the street. I don't have to drive anywhere to see someone. And I do see someone every day.  They too are very nice people who are caring and would help if I needed something.  As well I spend three hours on Mondays at  Providence Farm (a therapeutic community) as a volunteer with other spinners to spin wool for their weaving program.  While I have had the chance to help some weavers even more inexperienced than I, I am also getting the chance to observe and talk to spinners who know so much more than me.

It is all quite delightful. On the surface I have more social contact with more people that I have had for years. But it is all rather superficial. Without disparaging my fellow vendors, my potential customers or my neighbours - it is all rather unstimulating intellectually. There is no need to get myself all fired up about some issue when there will be no one to talk to about it. In fact getting all fired up may not even be healthy as all it does is cause that issue to fester inside my brain. As I weave or spin I end up having endless conversations with myself about whatever issue. So perhaps it is not that I don't care but rather that I am tired of winning all of my arguments.

Or perhaps I am just being lazy and what I need to do is to get off of my butt and start writing and then find people to argue with.