A Minor Sadness

I am sort of sad. I am not saying that that I am clinically depressed or even that I am profoundly sad - I just feel a little bit down. For as long as I can remember at some point in mid to late August I get to feeling this way. I however, have noticed that this feeling of loss, of something being unfinished has started to happen earlier and earlier each year. A few years ago I realized that the start of my malaise coincided with the arrival of the first advertising flyers announcing back-to-school specials. This year, the first of these flyers arrived stuck in-between the pages of my semi-weekly free newspaper the first week of August. Summer has seemed to be particularly short this year.

It is easy to see why a person still involved in school would start to miss the loss of freedom with the threat of having to return to school. Similarly for those few lucky few (such as teachers) who have the summer off, any signal that fall is approaching could, understandably bring a sense of sadness and/or a feeling of loss of freedom. But my last experiences with school were fun - I looked forward to going back to school in the fall (although at the graduate level - there really was no summer off). I don't think I ever really disliked going to work and certainly my last years of working were fun and challenging. So why do I continue to experience some minor blues when reminded that summer will come to an end.

One could perhaps argue that my minor melancholy is more related to the weather, or at least to the reminder that the warm weather is about to be gone and that soon it will be cold for months and months. While it may be that my sense of loss or sadness is partially related to my younger self's memories of cold winters in Quebec and later in central Ontario, I like fall - the cool crisp mornings and the extraordinary colour of the leaves of the hardwoods. Besides I now live in balmy (almost) British Columbia where it may rain a lot but it is seldom really cold and one almost never has to shovel snow.

It is accepted within the medical/psychological literature that smells can trigger memories, that a smell of something can trigger powerful recollections and emotions of the past. While I know of no similar research on the topic, clearly visual cues such as seeing advertising flyers can have a similar effect.

What a marvellous thing is our brain - I wish I understood mine better.