Privilege

I am part of the elite. I am tall, male and white. That privilege was further enhanced because I grew up in Quebec in the 50s and 60s and spoke English. I never felt as if I was part of the elite. My family were at best working class, with constant reminders of how poor our parents had been as children and even more frequently, reminders of how close we were to still being very poor. We did not have a car until the summer I turned 12, I always seemed to be wearing pants that were too short for me but we could afford to buy new ones and while there was always lots of food to eat, my mother frequently reminded us about how difficult it was to make ends meet. I went to a poor school with at least some of the teachers being completely unqualified to teach. A school that had almost no library and the one lab did double duty as both a biology and a chemistry lab. The school system streamed the students into very specific program areas including assuming that 25% of the students would leave school by grade ten. The concept of providing anything stimulating outside of the classroom was a concept foreign to my parents, my teachers and the community as a whole. There were people better off than my family. We all knew who they were. I did not hang around with them.

If someone had asked me in 1966 if I was privileged - I would have answered no. Privilege then would have meant really rich people living in Westmount or the Town of Mount Royal or perhaps the queen. Certainly, it did not mean people like me who were raised believing they were poor, believing that opportunities were restricted.

I thought I was lucky. I caught the baby boomer wave and got into university (woefully unprepared and unable to get past my second year before I was asked to leave) and then had access to community college programs and then a number of community-based grants designed to hire all of the wandering around baby boomers. I built a career, had a family and did some interesting things. I am still doing interesting things and have within some limits - choices as to how I live my life. I now understand that those choices came to me because of privilege.

To be clear - I have worked my butt off. I have been cautious (frugal) about spending money, I have never taken a holiday where I flew to some resort. We lived in houses that were frequently substandard as we struggled to build or renovate houses and only once have I had a new car. There were times when I felt as if I had no choice but to continue to struggle. For month after month we didn't have enough money to pay our bills - certainly never enough to save anything. In hindsight, it feels as if there were years where I knew that we would never get ahead, that we would never be in full control of our lives or able to provide everything we wanted to our children. It never felt easy. It never felt as if I got something for free.

But in spite of that - we were privileged. I was working in a career of my choice, doing what I thought was important. If I occasionally felt stuck - it was a consequence of my choices. And almost always, there were other choices. There were even a few occasions when I quit a job because of a philosophical difference with my boss(es). The choices that seemed to just float my way happened in part because I worked hard, usually far more hours than I got paid for and I was good at what I did. But people noticed me, gave me the little bit extra room to shine, or to do something a little bit different - just because I said it might work - because I was tall, male and white. I earned every single dime I was paid, I worked hard to earn the trust of those who hired me but I was able to do get in the front door, to attract their attention because I was tall, male and white

There is no apology here. I never consciously used my sex, race or height to gain an advantage. But I need to acknowledge that it has been a presence in my life and that I have benefited from it. I also need to acknowledge it because only then can I realize how much more difficult it is for people who do not have such advantages and how much harder I need to work to ensure that the playing field is made level.

It is not that I got something I did not deserve or earn but rather other people without such privilege worked just as hard as I and still did not have the same opportunities. And that is wrong.