Being Special

I have been thinking a lot lately about being special or rather the need to feel special. I suspect that most if not all humans are born with the need/desire to feel just a little bit special - a little bit different than any one else. We want to be able to hide within the herd for protection but at the same time we want to be recognized as having something unique about us. Even those who take delight in being a wallflower in the gymnasium of their life have a well hidden wish to be noticed as being something special.

People are becoming just a little pushy in their demand to have someone, anyone, recognize that they have a special interest, or have a special need or have done something special. I would be okay with that except for the fact that so often that individual also wants special recognition for their uniqueness. All too often that recognition is defined in terms of extra services or programs and the resultant demands for financial support.

I have no doubt that most of the causes that are being championed by people who honestly believe that their need is special should be supported. My only question is: how do we decide whose cause is "more special". For example there is a young child who has a rare disorder whose medication will cost one million dollars a year - there 12 or so such individuals in Canada. There are hundreds of children waiting for specialized support so that they can be more successful in school; there are even more children living in the northern parts of our country who have inadequate access to food, schooling or housing. The list of people who have some sort of special need that we need to support is endless.

It sometimes feels as if everyone is demanding to be recognized as being special, as if everyone needs to receive some token of their uniqueness. In our collective impulse to stand out from our peers, it feels as if some are suggesting that our "special-ness" makes us if not more important than others, at least more worthy of being noticed, more worthy of being supported.

However, far more insidious than the squabbling over who gets the most funding, is the constant demand from the advocates who seem to have a need to blow their own horn at every opportunity. There was a time when people in the community worked for the public good without praise or reward - just because it needed to be done. Thee was a time when parents did what they needed to, to support their children because it was what parents did. There was no expectation of praise or glory.

I recognize that people's lives are busier now than they were 40 years ago. I recognize that the expectations and demands on people may be higher than they were on their grandparents - but just because we do our jobs well, just because we do what we should do, it is not a reason that we should decide that we are special

We should not expect rewards for doing what is right.