Remember December 6th - part 2

In the past month or so, there seems to have been more media exposure to the issue of sexual assault than usual. In fact there has been the suggestion that because of the amount of attention being paid to this topic – the “problem” is well on the way to being solved or at the very least, a corner has been turned.

What balderdash!!!!

What has been discussed in the past few weeks is the behaviour (alleged) of a handful of celebrities (Cosby, Ottawa based MPPs and Ghomeshi). While their celebrity status should never protect them from these allegations (although it all too frequently has), that same status should not be perceived as making the crime more terrible, heinous or disgusting. To do so belittles the pain that women suffer when assaulted by non – celebrities. We are not having more conversations about sexual assault - we are engaging in our seemingly favourite pastime - bashing celebrities who fall off of the pedestals we place them on. And there is a profound difference between the two conversations.

The fact is that nothing has changed. Women are still being assaulted . Society as a whole is doing precious little to stop it. Pointing our fingers at a handful of well-known individuals will do little to change peoples'  behaviour.

It has always seemed to me to be somewhat strange that while the state can spend millions and millions of dollars on anti-drinking and driving campaigns, and spend even more on the "war on   drugs", we cannot come even close to working out a national strategy to eradicate violence on women. In some parts of Canada, if a person is found to have more alcohol in their system than allowed, they can lose their car for a period of time, lose their license for a year, pay a large fine and have to take a weekend workshop to help "adjust" their attitude. If a male bashes around their partner - the most immediate consequence for the couple is that the wife (if she is lucky) has to leave the home to go live in a shelter. I am not saying that drinking and driving is not a serious concern - I am just wondering why other social problems are not seen as equally important by the law makers of this country. Perhaps even more critically - why the citizens of this country do not see it to be important.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and other similar groups managed, in a relatively few years, to  convince all levels of governments and the general public that something needed to be done. Why hasn't the same strategy been successful in dealing with the myriad of issues surrounding violence against women? Equally as important is the question as to what are we going to do about it.

While it is important that the government be held accountable for its inaction, it is far more critical that we as citizens work to prevent the violence from occurring.  And that means (men) working on ourselves.  It means talking to our males friends;  publically challenging their language or their actions that demean women; talking to our sons and grandsons about equality and living our lives as role models of what life could and should be like.

The terribleness of the events of December 6th is not just that 14 women died - it is that so little has changed since.