Deafness

I going deaf. Not really - it just feels that way. For the last four days I have had both of my ears blocked with, I assume, excess wax. I was warned two years ago by my doctor that my ears needed cleaning and I of course, ignored her. I probably should have paid more attention. It is not the first time that, a few days before my trip, I have suffered from blocked ears. One would think/hope that I would learn.

It is a strange feeling to only be partially aware of my environment.  It feels as if I am removed from whatever I am doing. I know I am walking on the hardwood floors, but I cannot hear my footsteps. I know that I am typing, but the keys are making no sound. I can't tell if something is boiling on the stove unless I am right there or if the fridge is on. The microwave makes no noise and I could barely hear the garbage truck outside my window. Even driving the car is a different experience because I feel as if I am less aware of what is going on around me. I have spent the last few days feeling as if I have a thick batten of cotton wool around my head blocking all but the loudest noises. It is an uncomfortable feeling. For the first time I have some sense of what it might be like to lose one's hearing.

It was a bit challenging selling at the Market on Saturday. It wasn't that I could not hear people talking to me but rather that it took a lot more effort and energy to pay attention to what they were saying. I missed hearing the bits and pieces of chatter from people as  they passed by. The Market appeared (although it was reasonably busy) a bit dull and lifeless - lacking its usual vibrancy. I suspect that I was not as "chatty" as I normally am in part because I was afraid of missing parts of conversations. Yesterday, as I was doing some last minute shopping, I noticed that I was less willing to engage in conversation with the clerks etc.

The doctor's office said that they would flush out my ears on Friday after I had spent three or four nights with oil in my ears to soften the old wax. Which was a great offer except of course, I will be on my way by then. I had tried the warm oil trick, but I didn't realize that one needed to do it for successive nights. I am optimistic that if I walk around with oil and cotton balls in my ears both throughout the day and all night that the problem will resolve itself. Of course, that means that I am even more deaf with not only too much wax in my ears but oil and cotton balls as well. It is a good thing that I did not have a lot of things planned for today!

p.s. the silver lining to all of this is that I finally know what it is like to drive a super quiet car!!! No road noise at all - I could get use to that.