From Just Outside the Pandemic #15

Four things/conversations have happened in the past two or so days that have helped put things into perspective and at the same time, that have somewhat depressed me.

The first was a conversation I had with one of my neighbours. We were sort of grouching over the inconvenience of the limitations placed upon us because of COVID-19 and the sometimes inconsistencies in procedures at various stores. It struck me that our concerns were rather minor, that despite our self-imposed and state-imposed limitations on our activities, we were exceptionally lucky. We had reasonable health, we had a good place to live, we were not at risk of being so broke that we did not know where our food money was going to come from and that we were reasonably sure that we were not at risk of contracting the virus. We were, in fact, truly blessed.

That conversation certainly reminded me that I need to put my minor inconveniences into perspective in terms of other peoples' real suffering. Then I did my income tax - a bit late but there is no rush. I was reminded of how much I made last year selling my weaving. It was a lot - at least for me. It was about 16% of my income. It felt pretty good. I can certainly live comfortably on my government pension plus what I have tucked away for the rainy season, but the additional income allows me to travel a bit to see my daughter and to, at least consider the possibility of purchasing an electric car. The selling also keeps me engaged in doing what I love to do and keeps be engaged in at least part of my community.

Later yesterday afternoon I was outside painting the trim on my mobile home when a neighbour, who also sells at the market, came over and mentioned that he does not think we will ever be allowed to sell our wares ever again. While part of me has always understood that that might be possible - it was the first time I had heard someone say it out loud.

Finally, someone just offered me two fleeces for free and I turned them down. I did so in part because there seemed to reason to get a fleece, process it and then not to have a way of selling whatever I made.

 So I am grateful, more than I could ever say that I am reasonably healthy,. The odds of me contracting the virus seem, as long as I am careful,  relatively remote. I have sufficient money, I am not worried about my access to food or housing. But I have the profound sense of loss that the lifestyle I have worked so hard at in the past few years to create may be gone.

I am not sure what I will replace it with.

P.S. I am going to look at the wool tomorrow - just in case I can use it.