Luddites Unite!

Without wanting to (once again) sound like a stereotypical cranky old codger, it probably comes as no surprise that I don't like cell phones. In fact I would not have one if my daughter had not made me get one.

Once after one of my moves, I was negotiating with Bell or Telus about getting a landline. The charming young (I assumed) lady at the other end of the line was patiently trying to sell me a package deal. No, I told her, I didn't want to pay for the answering service - I already had an answering machine; no, I didn't need call display - I used my answering machine to screen my calls; no, I didn't need internet access - I was getting it through my landlord and no, I didn't want cable. I suspect she was somewhat frustrated with all of my no answers, but then she brightened up and asked if I wanted to join together my land line plan and my cell phone plan. It was obviously a good deal. I had to disappoint her and say that I didn't have a cell phone. Her response back was "everyone has a cell phone. How else can people find you?". I think my answer back shocked her as I said "I don't want to be found!". The fact is that I just don't think anything is so important that I need to be told immediately.

My daughter, who has been less than excited with my preferred method of getting out to the West Coast every summer, initially asked me to give her a call every few days while traveling. I have always been flattered that she cared enough and so I tried to do that. But as anyone who has driven across the Prairies or though Northern Ontario knows - there are not a lot of telephone booths along the Trans-Canada. There were a few times when, because I had not called in for more than a few days,  I think she at least thought about calling the police. So I bought a cell phone. Just a clam shell type pay-as-you-go phone. Very basic and except for using the alarm clock, I do not know what other features it had (although I did text once on it). I perhaps gave out the number to four or five people, I never left it on and there were months and months when I never even thought about it. It also never worked in Northern Ontario, parts of the Prairies or in the Rockies. Not very useful.

In talking to Telus about how useless of a telephone it was, it was suggested that if I updated the phone to one that had a SIM card that I would get much better coverage. So this week - in the interest of being a good dad - I bought a new phone. It cost twice as much as the first one, doesn't feel as sturdy and as far as I can figure out doesn't do anymore than the other one did. It took a number of hours of comparison shopping, a couple of calls to Telus and then a few hours of trying to read the microscopically printed instruction booklet to input the ten or so phone numbers. I realize that thousands if not millions of people buy a new phone every day and then do all that they need to do so that it works. I realize that none of them expect any sort of reward or recognition that they have done something especially onerous or worthy of praise. But from my perspective it seemed like a whole bunch of money and effort just so folks can find me..... if I ever think about turning it on.